The Flagship
THE NAUGHTY LIST
FOR ADULTS.
Krampus reviews what you send him and writes back with uncomfortable precision. Then we mail it — a real letter, in a real envelope, to a real mailbox.
Haus of Krampus
From the Immortal Degenerate of Christmas
RE: Congratulations. You’re on the Naughty List.
Jason,
Congratulations. Your wife, Linda, has officially reported you to Krampus. I was expecting something involving livestock. Instead, this woman sent me photographs of your garage.
FIRST, THE GARAGE. You promised to clean it by Easter. WHICH EASTER, JASON? I’ve dragged naked sinners through the Bavarian Alps in a sack that hasn’t been washed since 1743. Even I wouldn’t enter that garage without a tetanus shot.
SECOND, THE BREAD MAKER. Purchased in February. Described as “an investment.” Linda says you spent three hours researching flour and then ordered pizza. The Haus has located no bread.
THIRD, YOUR SMART HOME. You spent $600 automating the living room lights. They now turn purple whenever someone flushes the upstairs toilet. I’ve summoned demons with fewer unintended consequences.
Your place on the Naughty List is confirmed. Saint Nicholas has recommended leniency. I reminded him that he wears a velvet bathrobe to work.
I have other families to haunt, Jason.
Krampus
Pick Your Format
Checkout isn’t connected yet, so nothing below can be purchased for real just this moment — but the prices are final.
Digital
One letter from Krampus, straight to their inbox.
- One fully personalized letter
- Beautiful print-ready PDF
- Delivered in minutes, no shipping wait
- Great for Secret Santa or White Elephant on a deadline
The Naughty List for Adults
The full physical experience, mailed to their doorstep.
- One fully personalized letter, professionally printed
- Black envelope, red wax-seal design, cream letterhead
- Mailed directly to them (or to you, to hand-deliver)
- A free digital copy lands in your inbox too
3 Months of Krampus
Three letters. Krampus doesn't forget.
- 3 letters with real callbacks, not repeats
- Krampus references what he said before
- Mailed monthly (digital available)
Year-Round Krampus
He never forgets. He'll be in touch all year.
- 6 letters — one every 2 months
- Old offenses come back. New ones get added.
- The best gift for someone who will never see it coming